I Don’t Know How to College and That’s OK

This post originally appeared on Like Gwen Stacy. You can follow Gwen on Twitter, Instagram, and YouTube.

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I remember my first day of college vividly. That’s because I started the day after I graduated high school. Literally. Back then, in order to stay on my moms insurance, I had to be in school. That meant not having a summer and starting summer school immediately. I honestly had no clear goal in mind at the time which was probably my biggest mistake. So instead of taking general education courses and figuring out my plan later, I ended up just diving head first into Business courses. My mom majored in it, so could I. Wrong.

Within the first week I was already mega stressed out. I am not or never have been good with numbers or anything of the sort so doing business wasn’t my thing. I dropped out of classes immediately and just stuck with the very few general ed courses I had. I barely scraped by and ended up messing up my GPA in the school district pretty quickly. By the time Fall came, I dropped out completely in favor of working full time. Full time meant my own insurance and benefits so I was off the hook.

That summer was the last summer I had attended college for a while.

Much like my mom, I wasn’t really sure if school was for me at that age. I had grand schemes of just working cool jobs and getting my own apartment at the age of 18 and hoping I wouldn’t want a job so badly that required me to have a college degree. I mean, at that time most jobs really just wanted you to have graduated high school so I was set.

Fast forward to around 2010 when I had been living on my own for about two years and got out of a pretty rough relationship and was forced to move back in with my mom. My mom told me I needed to either get a job, or go back to college. Unfortunately, the job that I had before I moved out of state lied to me and I was not able to go back to my position like they had promised me and finding a job was incredibly hard. So I went back to school.

This time, I had a bit longer to figure out what I wanted to do. I opted to go to community college again and signed up to get a graphic design degree. I spent two years working my butt off and it was actually something I really enjoyed doing. I had a pretty decent small business designing graphics and various things for local companies, radio stations and people overseas and I hadn’t even graduated yet. I finally felt like I found something I was good at. I thought I would want to do that for the rest of my life. And then I graduated.

I had a job working at a video store and I wanted to keep doing graphic design but theeeen I didn’t want to anymore. So I let my degree go to waste and worked at a crappy video store for almost a year before quitting and working at crappy museum for almost another year.

While I was at my museum job, I actually registered again for culinary classes with an emphasis in baking and pastry. I really wanted to bake. So much so that I jumped the gun and started a baking business that I had for..you guessed it..a year. I had this idea that I was going to own a nerdy bakery and be the coolest hang out spot in the Bay Area.

I ended up dropping out of classes before I could get any kind of degree in it so I like to say that I have an almost degree in baking. Because I dropped out when I was ALMOST done.

So here I am, the day before the day before I start college…AGAIN. Going to school..AGAIN to try to get yet ANOTHER degree. Emphasis on try here. In the middle of my later college years I had always wanted to try my hand at the fashion design and merchandising classes. I am not into fashion at all, I just wanted to try something new. Then I got into cosplaying and my love for sewing and creating skyrocketed. But no matter what, whenever I tried to get ballsy and apply for the classes they were already full. Earlier this year I was FINALLY able to snag one of the coveted spots in all of the first semester courses.

This is at yet another community college but the program gets amazing accolades as being just like a fashion school but way cheaper and more 1 on 1 with teachers.

Needless to say, I am excited. Will I complete the program? Who knows! I honestly am just one of those people who likes to roll with any idea I have. If I want to try something new and I know I can learn it, I will apply for the classes and give it a try. I already have a degree I could technically fall back on if I want to, so I am trying not to stress myself out with this one. I am doing it for fun..and to hopefully be able to get better at a hobby and craft I know I am moderately okay at haha

If you are a college drop out or have no idea which direction you wanna go, don’t worry. You will someday. I mean, if I am completely honest I still have zero idea what I wanna do with my life. I have no plan. I just know I want to hone in on as many of my skills as I can because I know at some point they’ll be valuable. My ultimate end game though is to work for myself doing SOMETHING. I just don’t know what that something is and I know college can be a good stepping stone to find it out.

It might take a lot of money and you might waste a lot of money but I see no harm in keeping on trying different options until you find something for you.

Are you a college graduate?
Do you think the subject you majored in was the right thing for you?
If not, are you planning on going back?

Share your college experience below or type up your own back to school post for Superheroesque.

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  • Harper Yi

    I graduated college this past May and I thought I knew exactly what I wanted to do– and I was right, but I didn’t get into the program. I wanted to major in Marketing, but the Business School admission system was improperly balanced and only looked at GPA so I couldn’t get in. They changed it this past year to be more fair, and I’m still pretty salty about the fact that if I was a few years younger I could have followed my plan exactly! But I ended up majoring in Psychology (which I love, and has tons of applications in Marketing) and minoring in Marketing, which amounted to me taking the same amount of Marketing classes as any Marketing major, without the added burden of Finance courses etc. Even when you’ve got a direction and a plan and are mostly ready for school, there are gonna be hiccups and knocks! My goal was to just get in and get out in 4 years with a degree I could use in my career, and in order to do that, I had to adjust and get out of there as quickly as possible and I had to make some really hard decisions, like staying in school despite some serious health issues that dragged my grades down. I definitely recommend going in with a goal in mind so you know what you are and aren’t willing to compromise on!

    — Harper
    harperhoney.com